Today is April 1. This date, for whatever reason, is synonymous with pranks and practical jokes. Last night I had one of the worst jokes played on me.
I was high. If you've ever had a chance to partake in smoking marijuana, you know that the three preliminary side effects are being "hungry, happy and sleepy". However, an aspect of smoking that almost always goes unnoticed is the fact that marijuana can make the user very PARANOID!
So to continue, I was high as FUCK. Around 1:30Am, as I am enjoying the company of my brothers and their pledge sisters, I receive a phone call.
"247 Paul Schindler" is what my phone reads.
Like a true high guy, I pause and ponder why he could be calling. I had seen him earlier that night and saw him before he left for his girlfriend's place. I picked up the phone and heard this...
"JP, are you alone!? Go to your room or somewhere no one will be able to hear me."
His voice was urgent. There are times when people who talk giveaway their emotions through their speech or body language. This was one of those times. By the way his voice sounded, I could tell that he was distraught and manic. He sounded almost scared, but of this I wasn't sure.
During the short sprint to my bedroom, I tried to ponder the possible reasons for his distressed call. Meanwhile, those brothers and friends who I had been kickin' it with prior saw me run out of the room frantic and concerned so that they too became concerned. I locked my door and prepared myself for what proved to be mind blowing news.
"I just left Jackie's (his girlfriend's) house. She told me that she is four months pregnant..."
OH MY GOD, WTF!?!?
I didn't know what to say. It sounded like he was sobbing and was confused. Keep in mind that all this time, I am high as a kite. I am ridiculously paranoid and have to comfort my bro in some way as he's still on the phone. I ask him where he is, but he just rambles and says that he's walking around somewhere.
My words are flying out at 100mph and I'm probably slurring some of them. I still can't think of anything to say.
To make this a little more understandable, you must first know the circumstances. Paul is a graduating senior. He was recently admitted into graduate school and works for a program called Upward Bound where he mentors high school students. He has his whole life ahead of him and now possibly a kid too?
My head is spinning. I feel like I'm gonna cry along with him, but I want to find out if he's okay first.
"Paul, listen to me. Where exactly are you?"
No answer. I worry more, but hear an unsettling chattering in the background which turns into laughter; hysterical and relentless laughter.
"I had to get you," he said. " Jackie's here too." - "Sorry JP!" (Jackie's voice)
I forgot completely about April fool's day. There are some jokes that people play which end up being forgotten, but I don't think I'll ever forget this one.
I can still feel my heart pounding in my chest and the sweat running down my forehead. If you're reading this, FUCK YOU PAUL AND JACKIE!!
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